04.18.2005

It Can All Be So Beautiful

I JUST HAD A MAJOR REALIZATION. (All caps not intended, but now welcome.) I felt how incredibly lucky we are to have the variety of feelings we get to have. I was listening to Billy Joel’s “I am the Entertainer” and I felt god there singing that to me. I mean all the suffering and all the bliss are so wonderfully diverse. Think about how cool it is to feel all these things. How amazing it is that all the feelings we have were able to even be conceptualized and created out of literally nothing. Do you see how amazing it is? If may help to recognize that how you experience life is not how the rest of the infinity of kinds of awarenesses, consciousnesses experience existence. Maybe it would help to think of it like tasting something and going for tasting only degrees of saltiness, which is itself amazing, to tasting sweetness and then bitterness, and then mixtures and then thinking you’ve got that wired and stumbling upon vision. Are you beginning to sense what I’m trying to convey? It's all so amazing. Even the experience of being disturbed by an experience is amazing. It’s like tasting something that you “don’t like” but liking that you got to taste it. How many things have you tasted that you didn’t like originally and then as you grew you learned to really like them. Think of experience in that way and next time you get upset about something, think to yourself, “This is so cool. I get to feel upset and feel all the thoughts that go with it. I’ll bet that speck of dust flying by doesn’t even understand this kind of feeling. I wonder what it is that I don’t understand… yet.” I’m presuming you’ve gone deep within yourself in the past and understand that the you can’t really get your mind around an infinite universe nor how anything can exist without there being something preceding it. If you haven’t, then maybe what I said may not make as much sense as it does to me. In any case, I really do understand now how it is that we can be suffering and still be getting exactly what we really want. Basically, we don’t really know ourselves as well as we could so we base our judgments on only a small part of the self we currently know. Otherwise we’d see just how amazing life really is and how great we all really are.

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